So, it’s been a little quiet for Warm Glow Photo recently as a business but it’s been very busy period for our expanding family. I’ve taken some time off because my daughter was born earlier this year. The time has passed so quickly and I can’t believe I am already back to work, but I am really looking forward to being able to focus on photography again.

During both my children’s early babyhood I thought that I would take loads of pictures of them and use this as an opportunity to practise new techniques and really build up my portfolio. I forgot two very important things:

Firstly, I will be pretty busy actually caring for the baby. Feeding, changing nappies, wiping up sick and dealing with poonamis take much more time than I remembered and this time I’ve been juggling it with entertaining a five year old.

Secondly and perhaps most importantly, the act of photographing distances yourself from being part of the event you are photographing. You are slightly detached; the camera is between you and your subject. This is a constant dissonance I feel: I want to fully participate in life, but I also want to record it.

I wanted to photograph the warm, beautiful, cosy moments of the newborn period, but I also wanted to lie listening to her breathing. Feeling her hot, milky breath on my face and believing that we were in some ways still one person. When I put a camera between us I couldn’t do that.

I’m so grateful that my wonderful doula Juana took amazing photos of the birth, recording a life-changing event when I was totally in the moment and wanted no distractions. I also plan to hire a photographer for some family photographs when my daughter is six months old, so that I can be present in them. I want other photographers to photograph my life, while I get back to photographing other people’s lives.

I did manage to take some pictures of the first few months, and here are some of my favourites. The special moments that I didn’t photograph I drank in deeply and keep inside me.